To make your “day to remember” as blissful as you imagine I offer you my top wedding planning tips; your mindset and attitude are the the biggest contributors to the success of your event. By no means would I ever say that I am an authority on planning weddings but what I can say, with much confidence, is that my wedding was a true representation of the personalities of myself, my husband, and our relationship. To this day we both still believe that this was, outside of the births of our daughters as well as the day that chemo was officially over for our oldest, the best most fun day of our entire lives thus far. Now, more than 6 years later, the guests of our day of celebration still talk about it with smiles themselves.
There are a number of lists out there regarding the “top 10 wedding planning mistakes” and some I absolutely agree with…some not so much. What is definitely more important than all the “do’s and don’ts” of wedding planning is the attitude. So from a true life bride here are some “top” mindsets I held true to when approaching the planning of my wedding.
1. Do not forget who this day celebrates and why
We were extremely fortunate to have very supportive and non-opinionated people in our circle so this was easy for us. I know that the cost of a wedding 
can be quite high and when you are receiving financial assistance from parents or family members, they feel they have the right to weigh in on the major planning details. Incorrect; the details of this special day are all about you and your soon to be spouse and no one else. Do not let anyone pressure you into making a decision about any aspect of your day that you feel strongly about. For instance, if there is some little detail which is not super important to you like whether every bridal attendant is wearing the exact same dress then, hey you choose the color and let them find the style. But if you know for certain that you do not want to have your ceremony in a church but would rather have it outside in a beautiful nature setting – this is too significant of a detail to cave on. This represents you and your spouse and what your union means to you – not what it means to onlookers. You have invited them to witness the union and celebrate that with you; not to write your story.
2. Don’t put on a show
Anything that does not have true meaning to you or your spouse should not be part of a day that celebrates you and your spouse. I can say that I am a 
very spiritual person; however, I would not say that I am religious. At the juncture in our lives when we united in marriage, church was not a daily part of our lives. So the idea of getting married in a church, to us, felt like hypocrisy. I have too much respect for the church and what it represents to simply use it as a pretty backdrop. We also did not do the candle lighting ceremony or blending of the sand presentation because it didn’t have significance to us. Now if it has meaning to you then it’s something you should include. I did not have my father walk me down the aisle as he did not raise me, really. It was mostly my stepfather that had the biggest part in my rearing so it felt right to have him escort me down the aisle. But my father is definitely significant to my life and to honor that, I danced with him for the father/daughter dance. We did not do the garter toss or bouquet toss because we felt they were rituals that had no meaning to us so to include them would be only for show. So, we skipped all of that. As a bonus we had more time to party and truly celebrate!
3. Know the difference between reasonable requests and simply being inconsiderate
Yes, this day is all about you and your spouse and the excitement of blending your lives together in marriage. Now, while you are inviting people to celebrate with you and take a part in the ceremony of your union, you are also asking them to take on a great deal of responsibility – financially, time, etc. The smaller your wedding party, the less amount of friction you can generally expect. I wouldn’t guarantee that there won’t be any issues but I think it definitely curbs the amount of potential issues. Since your bridal party generally foots the bill for their own attire and transportation to the event (especially if it’s out of state) then you need to be considerate of that. Be sure to talk to your Maid/Matron of Honor or Best Man about these responsibilities so that you can find workarounds and make sure everyone is on the same page before it gets out of control and can damage relationships. If you have friends that have children but you would rather not have children at your event, don’t be afraid to announce on your invitation “An Adult Occasion”. That’s what we did – not because we don’t enjoy children but we know that most parents have a difficult time enjoying themselves when they have young children in a reception situation. They worry about behavior or bedtimes, etc. We wanted our guests to really relax and enjoy themselves. All of our guests completely understood and anyone with children under the age of 13 simply made child care arrangements or did not come to the reception. We were sorry they couldn’t be there but we celebrated with them at another time.
What it really comes down to is that at the end of the day, you and your spouse are Mr. and Mrs. and you have smiles on your faces. You know, we found out about some little mishaps and mistakes at our wedding after the big day and you know what – it had no effect on the outcome so really, how important was it? Don’t bog yourself down with the little things and enjoy your celebration. You’ll never have that again – the excitement, the romance, the sheer awe of it all, and the knowledge that you have just made a lifelong commitment to your best friend, love, and partner in life and they have made that same commitment to you.
Join us at the 2009 East Valley Bridal Affair for inspiration, ideas, and entertainment on Sunday, October 4th from 11:00am to 4:00pm at the Windemere Conference Center in Mesa, Arizona.
Experience the possibilities.
Come together with industry experts who will inspire you to create a day to always remember.
Free admission, prize giveaways, fashion shows, and entertainment.